http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/-t1.htm Place for humor. No racism, nothing cruel or out of line. Posts can be and will be deleted at admin discretion if we find them out of line. PMs will be sent to users violating the simple rule Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:16:10 GMT 10 http://usmcshop.grunt.com/prodimg/P191.jpg http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/-t1.htm http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/wal-mart-greeter-t48.htm BA Charlie, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, sometimes 15 minutes late. But he was a very good worker, dressed well, clean-shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company while obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies. One day the boss was trying to figure out how to deal with it. Finally, he called Charlie into the office for a talk. "Charlie, I have to tell you, I like ... Jokes Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:16:10 GMT http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/wal-mart-greeter-t48.htm#93 http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/wal-mart-greeter-t48.htm http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/co-s-morning-briefing-t38.htm BA The Commanding Officer of a Regiment in the U. S. Marine Corps was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff , Battalion & Company Commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before & he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was 'work' & how much of it was 'pleasure?' The X.O. chimed ... Jokes Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:56:23 GMT http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/co-s-morning-briefing-t38.htm#67 http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/co-s-morning-briefing-t38.htm http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/shooting-beaver-t31.htm BA An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up... The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.' I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. 'So what do you think about that Doc ?' The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. 'I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off ... Jokes Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:16:03 GMT http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/shooting-beaver-t31.htm#52 http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/shooting-beaver-t31.htm http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/amazing-how-wise-some-youngsters-are-t28.htm Beardog Little Katie comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. 'Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish,' she asks, 'Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?' Katie's father thinks a bit, then says 'No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a Valentine to?' 'Osama Bin Laden,' she says. 'Why Osama Bin Laden,' her father asks in shock. 'Well,' she says, 'I thought ... Jokes Tue, 22 Jan 2008 19:41:55 GMT http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/amazing-how-wise-some-youngsters-are-t28.htm#48 http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/amazing-how-wise-some-youngsters-are-t28.htm http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/old-corps-t19.htm BA Back in 1775, in Tun’s Tavern, recruiting started for the new Marine Corps. The very first Marine enlistee came in, signed the papers and took an oath. He was then told to go outside and wait for the other enlistee’s to go through the process. They would assemble later on the front yard. After a few minutes the second enlistee came out and had a seat on the steps, beside the first. The first man looked at the second and began, "Son, let me tell you about the Old Corps." BA Jokes Thu, 17 Jan 2008 00:39:01 GMT http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/old-corps-t19.htm#29 http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/old-corps-t19.htm http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/well-strike-me-dead-t16.htm Beardog A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments.. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.' The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes ... Jokes Wed, 16 Jan 2008 17:50:24 GMT http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/well-strike-me-dead-t16.htm#24 http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/well-strike-me-dead-t16.htm http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/the-marine-infantryman-t15.htm cerooth As Seen By Himself: A Stout, Handsome, Highly-Trained Professional Killer and Female Idol, who wears a star sapphire ring, carries a finely honed K-Bar, is covered with a crisp cammie cover and is always on time due to the reliability of his Seiko Diver's Watch. As Seen By His Wife: A stinking, gross, foul mouthed bum, who arrives home every 6 months or so with a seabag full of filthy utilities, a huge ugly watch, an oversized knife, a filthy hat, and a hard-on. As Seen By Headquarters: A ... Jokes Wed, 16 Jan 2008 04:19:49 GMT http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/the-marine-infantryman-t15.htm#19 http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/the-marine-infantryman-t15.htm http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/marine-vs-navy-fighting-rules-t9.htm BA NOTE: God bless our Corpsman to whom this does NOT apply (right, Hawg?)! Marine Corps Rules For Gun Fighting: Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive. Only hits count. A close miss is still a miss. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun. In ten years nobody will remember the details of ... Jokes Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:11:28 GMT http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/marine-vs-navy-fighting-rules-t9.htm#11 http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/marine-vs-navy-fighting-rules-t9.htm http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/you-know-you-re-a-biker-if-t6.htm cerooth Just a taste of what's out there..... You know you're a biker if... - Your wife has ever asked you to move the bike so she could see the TV better. - You have ever had to borrow a helmet for your date. - Your best friends are named after reptiles. - You own more black T-shirts then underwear. - Taking your wife on a cruise means a putt down the interstate. - Sturgis is your dream vacation. - You ever quit a job to go to Sturgis. - You only took the job to pay for ... Jokes Tue, 15 Jan 2008 04:32:18 GMT http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/you-know-you-re-a-biker-if-t6.htm#7 http://ddmc.forumotion.com/jokes-f6/you-know-you-re-a-biker-if-t6.htm